How intentional one-on-one conversations build trust, culture, and collective capacity
One of my favorite quotes is by the late great Maya Angelou, which says, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” These feelings, good or bad, are rooted in trust, safety, voice, and agency, which are foundational to strong relationships.
School leaders are tasked with nurturing relationships, not only with students, but with the adults who educate and support them. They must also be intentional about investing the time necessary to strengthen those relationships. Having one-on-one conversations is one way of being intentional and, at their core, allows leaders to build professional and personal connections with those they lead. That’s restorative practices and leadership. It’s attuning to the needs of people by creating opportunities to develop relational trust - because if leaders aren’t careful, schedules will dictate priorities instead of prioritizing what’s important on the schedule.
Edutopia recently shared an overview of this strategy: Building School Culture Through One-on-One Conversations, highlighting the ways that these intentional, relationship-focused dialogues can further a culture of collaboration and innovation. This powerful strategy doesn’t “need a budget, a new platform, or a professional development day…it just needs your time, your presence, and the belief that relationships are a leadership strategy, not a soft skill.”
The structure of these conversations lends itself to team members feeling comfortable and trusting their leadership – fostering ideas and the space to share them. Edutopia provides a few parameters to keep these sustainable:
- Have them once or twice per term
- Keep them to 20-30 minutes in a neutral space
- Lead them with open-ended questions
At the IIRP, we speak of restorative practices as a prevention strategy, in which 80% of the work is centered on proactively building community. What is proactive work? It’s work that values people and looks beyond time constraints. Proactive work isn’t transactional; rather, it is vulnerable and dismantles perfectionism. Proactive investments yield trust that increases social capital, where people are valued beyond what they do and more for who they are. One-on-one conversations can cultivate connections that create ripple effects in the classroom and larger school community.
Creating a culture of collaboration takes time, patience, and intentionality. Putting relationships at the center can generate exponential results in team culture and collaboration. Looking to create a more connected, engaged, and effective workplace within your school? Learn more about Restorative Practices at Work: Relational Tools for Culture Change and Navigating Conflict: Restorative Practices in the Workplace for next steps.
Matthew Johnson, M.P.A., is an instructor and implementation coach at the IIRP Graduate School. He’s a seasoned trainer with a decade of experience as a former school administrator.
